Impractical Magic: Here There Be Dragons
by lwbush
Summary: New friends and old friends appear, and relationships begin to change even more. Throw in a kidnapping, and things get interesting.


Here There Be Dragons

by Lori Bush

~**~

Disclaimer: _Xena: Warrior Princess_, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and all other characters who have appeared in either series, together with the names, titles and backstories are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. Certain themes and details in this series are borrowed from Terry Pratchett's "Discworld" series of books. The character of Draco is not the Xena one, but is borrowed as well.He belongs to Rafaella DeLaurentis, Rob Cohen, MCA and Universal Studios, although his accent is the sole property of Sean Connery.

Violence: No 

Sex: Nope. 

Rating: PG-13. 

Notes: Geez – is this number _eight_ already? I think so. The Relationship grows. We meet new characters – some of them familiar from other settings. I've been learning to speak in Cryptic from Angel in first season _Buffy._

_ _

Someone who is a Scottish native has informed me that my writing of the accent is badly done. I apologize in advance – I write it the way I hear it, and apparently, that isn't good. I mean no one offence – believe me. I'm only trying to help the story ring in the mind.

_ _

As always, my eternal gratitude goes to my dear friend, Rebecca Littlehales – and Dan, for letting me occupy so much of her time. I also want to thank my friends who preread this for me – they've probably forgotten all about it, it's been so long since it was first written.

~**~ 

Gabrielle was soaring through the air, dipping with the wind current and then gliding for a few minutes. Xena would die for this experience. Everyone should have a chance to fly. Maybe a loop-de-loop?

Whoa, Gabs. Focus. We're trying to find a ship, remember? A ship heading towards Greece?

_ _

The sound of Joxer's voice in her mind drew her back to herself. She had found the seagull's mind easy to control, but apparently the sensation of the seagull's freedom in flying over the waves had taken over without her paying attention. _Sorry. I got a little carried away. _

_ _

The sharing of power with Joxer, the bond, made things she had known she would never do when she first became a witch now possible. She knew herself to be far too weak a witch, on her own, to ever Borrow a mind. She could barely manage to ride her staff before, and it was supposed to work just for her. Her powers had been more in the memorization of spells or potion ingredients and medication area than in real magic. But now that she tapped into the natural power that was inside Joxer, she was capable of things her small touch of witch's blood could never have enabled her to do otherwise.

She had slept in his arms last night, and it seemed to strengthen the bond between them. Not to mention how nice it felt to wake up in the warm embrace of someone who… No, not now. If she wanted to think about things like that, she would have to put up the barrier she knew was available, but it would be dangerous for her to be out here, free floating with her mind in the gull's body, without his mind watching over her. They had too many emotional things to deal with to let natural physical responses get in the way, so she just needed to let that go for a while. She focused on the distance. _I see a ship! _Thank the gods for that.

Go land on the deck. I'll follow you.

The bond had increased Joxer's abilities, too. She hadn't thought that would be possible. But he had practiced materializing and dematerializing around the island yesterday, and he had far more control with it than he had ever had before. He probably could have materialized them all back in Greece, but he wasn't willing to try something quite that risky just yet, so he had come up with the idea for the two of them to locate a ship to take the survivors home. She glided in to a landing on the deck of the ship she had spotted. Not long after, the wizard materialized beside her and grinned. "Hi!"

Don't look now, but here comes the welcoming committee. She perched her seagull body on Joxer's shoulder as a half a dozen men with expressions ranging from merely stunned to downright unfriendly approached them.

Joxer straightened to his full height, and turned his attention to the man who appeared to be leading the group. "Are you the ship's captain?"

"No," the man growled, "But I'm capable of dealing with stowaways."

"I need to speak with your captain, sir, if you would be so kind." Gabrielle could feel Joxer's relief that the man spoke with a Greek accent. She sensed a total lack of fear in the wizard, and wondered at that. The Joxer that had left Greece not that very long ago would have been quaking, inside at least, at the odds. How do you know that? he snickered in her mind. I'd have never admitted it.

Maybe I knew you better than you thought, even before.

Their give and take was cut off by the woman emerging from below decks. Her very appearance bespoke authority, and neither of the pair doubted that this was the captain. She held herself with confidence, and when she appeared, the men all changed their bearing as well. Her dark eyes flashed at the sight of the unfamiliar man with the seagull on her main deck. "Where have you been hiding since we left Afrika?" she asked with slight contempt. "You've kept yourself mighty clean for a stowaway."

Joxer smiled knowingly. "I just got here."

She snorted. "Yeah, right. We're thousands of knots from anything resembling dry land, three days from our last dock, and you just got here. I suppose you walked on the water."

Joxer gestured to the bird on his shoulder. "She flew here. I just followed her."

The dark woman rolled her eyes. "Lovely. Not just a stowaway, but a madman as well. Lock him up in the brig, boys. We'll deal with him later." She turned on her heel, but a choked gasp from behind her brought her back around. She saw two of her men in poses that indicated they had been reaching for the stranger when they had been frozen in place. They apparently could move their eyes and breathe, but little else.

Joxer sighed. "I don't really want to do this the hard way, but if you insist, I can. I just need a ride back to Greece for myself and a few of my friends. We've been stranded on that island over there." He waved his hand, and all but the two frozen men looked towards the horizon, spotting for the first time the small bit of land in the distance.

The captain narrowed her eyes. "What's your name, stranger?"

"Joxer," he answered with a nod. Pointing at the seagull, he continued, "And this is Gabrielle."

"Well, Joxer, we don't usually take pets on board a pirate ship."

Pets! Gabrielle yelled, causing the wizard to put a hand to his pained temple. I'll show you what kind of damage a seagull can do when properly motivated, sister!

Gabby, don't. This may be our last chance to get home for a while. He smiled at the captain. "The seagull won't be coming, don't worry. She's not a pet, she's my –" There really wasn't a word for his relationship with Gabrielle anymore in the Greek language, he mused, "friend. It's a long story. So, will you take us home, Captain…?"

"Nebula. And I still need to understand how you got here. I don't think I want to know about your relationship with the bird, thanks. Oh, and could you release my men?" The wizard waved his hand, and the two frozen figures collapsed in a heap on the deck. "Boys," Nebula hollered to the crew, "Head 'er to that island portside. We're picking up some folks."

~**~ 

Xena let out a sigh of relief when she saw the grey and white seagull approach. She looked at the bird, and then at the apparently dead body of her best friend on the blanket beside her. Before long, Gabrielle was sitting up. "Wow," she breathed, "Flying is incredibly cool. Could we have fish for dinner? Or maybe some kind of scraps?"

"Get a grip, bird-woman. Do we have a way home? Where's Joxer?"

"He's on the ship, which is headed here, explaining to that Nebula person how he got there in the first place. From what I'm picking up, the conversation is pretty interesting, and… Hey, lady, don't flirt with him, he's taken!" She paused for a minute. "Well, you are, aren't you, sort of?" Pause. "Yeah, I know you aren't flirting back, but still…" Pause. "Now don't go getting a swelled head over it. It's just a fact – the bond, remember?"

Xena drummed her fingers on the sand. She would never get used to listening to half a conversation. At least, Gabrielle was starting to acknowledge that the bond between her and Joxer meant something special. That was good. "Ask him to ask her if she knows Hercules. I know that name from somewhere." A few moments of silence passed.

"She does, and says if we'd told her we were friends of his, she'd have agreed right away to take us." Gabrielle turned her attention to the Warrior Princess. "Like we can read minds! How would we know she knew him?"

Xena lifted a brow. "Dunno," she said with humor, "You can occupy a seagull's body, Joxer can transport himself across the ocean, you both talk to each other without needing words… I can't imagine why anyone might think you could read minds."

The bard scowled at her. "That's different." She stood up, dusting off her black skirt. "Let's pack and tell the guys from the crew. They'll be here soon. Oooh, is that a fish head on the beach?"

~**~ 

Joxer watched the pirate woman from the corner of his eye as they rowed in to the shore. She was beautiful, strong and confident, dark and sleek. The kind of woman he would have been immediately attracted to, once. The kind of woman who wouldn't have given "Joxer the Mighty" the time of day. But now, his bond with Gabrielle overshadowed everything else, while ironically enough, his new skills and confidence acted like an attractive force, drawing the very woman who once would have laughed in his face. Of course, Nebula was still convinced that Gabrielle was no more than his pet seagull, anyway. He wondered if he could ever live anything that resembled a normal life again.

Xena was waiting when they waded in, pulling the small boat to the sand. "Nebula," she said, eyeing the pirate queen warily.

"Warrior Princess," the woman replied, the same caution on her face.

"Joxer!" the bard called out, emerging from the treeline.

"Hi, Gabby," he returned, taking her hand when she approached for a brief exchange of energy.

The dark woman turned to Xena. "The bird? She didn't look blonde."

Joxer approached the two women. "Stick around us, you'll get used to all sorts of unusual things happening. Is everybody set?" Xena nodded, and on cue the few remaining Greek crewmen filed out on to the beach. Soon all were making their way back to the pirate ship.

Nebula and Xena seemed to have finally accepted each other, and were actually nearly hitting it off. "So, how well did you know Hercules?" the Warrior Princess asked the pirate.

"We're friends," the dark pirate said. "I do think that little sidekick of his is delicious, though."

"Iolaus? He's great. But not like…" Xena stopped herself, abruptly. This was a part of her history of which she was not tremendously proud, and she barely knew this woman.

"Ahh. And how well do you know – him? Them?"

"We're, uh, friends. Good friends. A long time ago, that wasn't true. But it's a real long story."

Nebula seemed to be enjoying the other woman's discomfort. She pointed at Joxer and Gabrielle sitting close together near the front of the skiff. "'Friends' like those two?"

"Those two don't know what they are."

"Does that mean I might have a chance with him?"

"Not on your life."

~**~ 

Xena had a cabin to herself, since she was adamant about not sharing with her friends. They were embarrassed to admit they only needed one bed for them both, when the pirate queen asked. Gabrielle was quick to steal a glance Xena's way. "It's not what you think, you know."

"I know. It's none of my business, anyway."

"It's just to keep the bond strong, so we're both at full power."

She hadn't seen the ship's captain come back. "Well, honey, that sort of thing always gives me power."

The bard glared at the dark woman, sputtering indignantly before storming into her cabin and slamming the door. "I get the feeling you two don't care for each other," Xena offered to the pirate queen, noting the other woman's superior expression.

Just then, Joxer came down the passageway. Nebula's entire attitude changed. "Hey there. I've got a wonderful skin of Chianti I picked up in Italia. Want to join me for a nightcap?" The young man tilted his head as if listening, then shook it, frowning.

"No, thanks. I'm pretty tired." He went through the door to the cabin before the pirate woman could say anything else.

"And I think I know why," Xena muttered to herself.

~**~

Joxer carefully erected the barrier in his mind while he watched Gabby wash her face in the bowl on the stand and brush out her hair. He had to admit that sleeping while holding her did things to him, but he didn't think either of them was ready for the next step of physical commitment. So for the past few nights, since they'd been sleeping this way, he spent the last few minutes of each evening reminding himself of how much he wanted to marry this girl, and how that made this so much different than anything with any girl he had ever known before. And of course, he always put up the mental barrier first. He had to do this now, because once they were actually touching the barrier was useless. Neither of them could block their thoughts when they were in contact in any way.

Both finished preparing for the night, they slipped beneath the covers, fully clothed except for their boots. Goodnight, he offered hesitantly.

I don't like her, the bard responded, out of a clear blue sky.

She's taking us home. Like her for that.

I still don't like her came the answer, sulkily. Then she snuggled into his chest, and they drifted off to sleep.

~**~ 

It was a long trip from where they were to Greece, made longer by the visible tension between the bard and the pirate. Joxer made himself useful around the ship, having always enjoyed sailing anyway, and seemed especially to love climbing into the crow's nest and watching the water go by. Once they were back in the Mediterranean, he disappeared for one day after explaining he was going to take a swim. Gabrielle thought about Borrowing a fish for a while, but he caught her in the thought and reassured her he wasn't going to do anything she couldn't know about. He purposely left the link open the whole time he was visiting with Poseidon. Xena kept the pirate queen at bay without revealing where their friend had gone. She knew Joxer didn't want to deal with another bunch of awed sailors.

It didn't help Gabrielle's relationship with the ship's captain any that she and Xena had hit it off in a big way. They did have a lot in common, except for their feelings about Gabrielle. They would spend hours swapping battle tales and weapons techniques, telling bawdy jokes and trying to out drink each other. The bard felt nearly superfluous in the whole thing, and stayed even closer to Joxer because of it. They hardly ever spoke aloud to each other anymore, unless someone else was a part of the conversation. She really resented the beautiful dark woman, though. She had already seemingly taken her place with her best friend, and she saw how she eyed her, um, her, uhhh…

She really was going to have to deal with this word problem. He wasn't her man, not really. Yet he was damn sight more than just a friend. But every time she tried to find a way to refer to her relationship with Joxer, she came up blank.

I have the same problem, you know. What are we?

Not having this conversation. The bard shut down the link in embarrassment. She let her guard slip, where she was usually so careful. Any personal thoughts about him, about whatever them there might be, were carefully barricaded behind the wall she would mentally build before thinking of such things. But she had been careless this time. They were going to have to deal with it eventually, though. Two people who shared both a bed and non-verbal communication would eventually have to deal with the realties of that situation, like the reality that she had become achingly aware of how attractive Joxer could be, up close and personal. And how she had grown so used to how he smelled, how he felt against her. But she would do nothing based purely on physical attraction, and that's all these feelings could possibly be. She knew from his thoughts and memories that he hadn't had it easy growing up, and she knew unlike anyone who ever knew him how sensitive and kind he really was. She liked his mind as much as she was growing to like his body, and although he still had occasional stupid thoughts, they seemed fewer and farther between lately. But none of that meant she was in love, in any way, shape or form. After all, they'd been thrown into this situation, and they were both just trying to make the best of it. It wasn't as if she wanted to sleep in his bed every night. It was something they needed to do in order to maintain their power levels and keep them at their top form. Nothing more. For a moment, even Gabrielle thought she might be protesting a bit much, but she shook the thought away, to be examined later.

They were nearly home – to Greece. She wondered if she should go home once she got there – to Poteidaia. But how would she explain Joxer, and their arrangement? How would she explain his powers, and her own? She had managed to get a scroll off before they'd left for Britannia, explaining she would be out of the country for a while and not to worry, but she's also said she'd try to get back there when she returned. Things were so – complicated. Not that her life with Xena had ever been simple before this.

Xena. There she was on the deck with that damned pirate, laughing and tossing throwing knives at a barrel. Xena – laughing. She couldn't decide if she was jealous (surely not!) or disgusted by this. When they were together, she and Xena took things seriously. Well, there was that one time when Xena kept flipping eels in the bard's lap, and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying her discomfort, but…

_ _

But just look at her now! Acting like a giddy schoolgirl, laughing, tossing knives, getting carried off by a dragon…

Huh? _Joxer?_ she called mentally, turning to her automatic first response.

_Gabby, that dragon just took Xena! We have to save her!_

_ _

She looked up to the crow's nest, able to see his figure but not his face. Then he materialized beside her. _Can't you just follow her to wherever he's taken her and bring her back?_ she asked reasonably.

_I don't have a link with her like I do you. I can't follow her anywhere. I have no idea where she's gone. _The bard could hear the panic in his mind, and she reached out to stroke his arm and calm him. He pulled her to him, and as he calmed some, her fear kicked in.

_What do you think it'll do to her, Joxer? How will we find her? _The bard looked over at the pirate queen, who was giving orders as fast as she could. She pulled out of Joxer's hold and approached the woman. "What are you doing?"

The dark eyes flashed. "We're almost to Crete, and I understand they've had dragons nest there before. I'm going to go find her!"

"Wait a minute! She's _my_ best friend! Joxer's and mine. We're…"

"Going to need all the help we can get, aren't we Gabby?" She could feel him using his magic and their link to soothe her temper. "We'll _all_ go save Xena. That way, we'll be able to find her faster."

Gabrielle nodded sullenly, and he smiled at her, then at the pirate queen. The other woman looked ready to argue until those dark eyes of his widened with his plea, and she gave in. Gazing with a frown at the blonde, Nebula said, "Fine. We'll all go together. Just don't slow me down. I don't want to lose a friend to a dragon because of some helpless little tagalong."

Helpless! You...

_ _

_Gabby, it's okay. We'll prove her wrong._

_ _

_ ~**~_

"You can put me down now, you know."

The huge creature laughed, and a few small rocks fell loose from the cavern wall and pinged to the floor. "Aye, lassie. Haven't lost yur spunk over the years, have ye?" The great claw moved down, and set the Warrior Princess gently on the ground.

"And _you_ haven't lost your flair for the dramatic. Why didn't you just _ask_ me to come along?"

"Aye, where would be the fun in that? Besides, would ye have?"

"Maybe."

"And ye'd've insisted that all yur friends come along too, and we'd have no time to get to know each other agin, am I right?"

"Maybe," she conceded. "But they'll just come looking for me, anyway. You could have saved them the trouble."

"Since when did ye start caring so much aboot the inconvenience of others? Yur actin' like they really matter to ye. Maybe ye _have_ changed as much as I'd heard. Besides, this way we'll have loots of time before they find us. They woon't have the first idea where to look."

Xena snorted. "Give me a break. _Toddlers_ know that dragons roost on the island of Crete. They'll come right here, and it's not that big a place, especially the dragon nesting grounds." Her eyes grew wide as she looked at her old friend. "Garibaldi isn't here any more, is he? He'd kill them just for exercise, just because they're human."

"Dead now. He ran up against one too many knight with a reputation to make. He was foolish, like many of my kind have been."

Xena softened. "I won't miss him. You, Draco, old friend, the world would be worse off without." She grinned. "It's been a while since I've seen you. I've been wanting to tell you this. I met a man who shares your name, and he's more of a dragon than you've ever been."

The creature slapped a clawed foot over the area of his heart. "Ahh, Xxxena me girl, ye cut me to the quick. Insult me abilities, do ye? I'm still alive, which is far more'n ye can say aboot most of me kind."

She stroked his brightly colored scales with affection. "You're alive because you haven't the heart to kill, Draco. When you don't try to kill people, they're less likely to try and kill you. You're the only dragon I've ever heard of who's a vegetarian."

"Aye, but I've had to fend off many an angry farmer in me day!" This time, she joined him in his laughter.

~**~ 

"So, where do we go from here?" Joxer heard Gabrielle fuss in his mind at the fact that he was even consulting Nebula, but he assured her that it was the wisest thing to do. She had traveled far more than they had, and might be more familiar with this island. He didn't know a person could blow mental raspberries, really.

"The dragons nest in the caves on the hills. We'll have to get in there quietly, because dragons have been known to eat people who disturb their lair."

"Oh, gods, what if that monster has _eaten_ Xena already?"

"You call yourself her best friend?" the pirate woman looked the blonde over with contempt. "I'd feel bad for any _dragon_ that tried to eat Xena."

Joxer chuckled until he received a sharp elbow in his ribs. _It's not funny, Joxer. Think about Xena._

_ _

_I am thinking about her. She's gotten out of far worse things than this. She can handle giants, harpies, even Bacchae. She can handle a dragon._

_ _

_She'd come rescue us._

_ _

The wizard nodded, and taking the bard's hand, set off after the already quickly moving pirate. "Don't we need provisions?"

~**~

"I made ye a loovely vegetable soup, Xxxena. Would ye like some?" The dragon stirred a huge pot, and the Warrior Princess snickered.

"I'm nowhere near that hungry, Draco."

"Aye, but I am." He ladled out a large spoonful, and dribbled a little bit into the bowl he'd hollowed for his friend out of a piece of rock. "I'm afraid me spoons are a wee bit larrrge forr ye, though," he told her regretfully.

She lifted the container. "I'm sure you'll excuse me for being a bit rude, won't you?" Without waiting for an answer, she drank from the edge. "Draco, this is _good_!"

The dragon preened a bit. "I pride meself in me cooking. Ye can't do _that_ with just a few herbs and roast villager, I tell ye!" Pouring the rest of the spoonful into his bowl and then adding another, the dragon settled into his own dinner. "Soo tell me about this young bard ye've taken up with, and the wizard, too."

~**~ 

"This is all you could get?" Gabrielle really hated the whine that came into her voice when she addressed the pirate, but Nebula seemed to be trying awfully hard to make this experience as uncomfortable as possible. They were sitting around the fire eating the dry hard bread that the dark woman had procured, and drinking heavily watered wine. The campsite they had chosen was on rocky ground, but there was enough sand to pad the sleeping area fairly well.

Joxer, I know you don't want to use your magic that much around her, but couldn't you just, like, zap us there and out with Xena?

_ _

_She's a pirate, Gabs. Do you know what a pirate could do with a full-time wizard on her crew? Do you want to show her what all I can do, and then have her become focused on trying to get me to go on with her? I don't need that pressure right now, and we may need her help to find Xena, so let's just do it her way, for the time being._

_ _

Gabrielle looked at the wizard, then at the two staffs lying side by side, then at the pirate. Even her staff and Joxer's seemed to think they belonged together. Xena had all but said so. Mother W was insistent about it. That woman across the fire was the only one who _didn't_ seem to think so. And she already seemed interested enough in Joxer, there was no need to give her any more reason to be so. _Okay, fine._

_ _

_~**~_

The bard's stomach woke her in the middle of the night. They were used to eating lightly on the road, but that dinner had been next to nothing. _Damn, I'm-_

_ _

_Hungry?_ The familiar voice in her head finished. _Your dreams of rabbit stew woke me. Here._ He sat up in their pelt, and handed her a small bowl of the dreamed-of delight he had obviously conjured just for her. She watched him smile indulgently at her as she ate. She could really get to like him taking care of her. She blushed, seeing his smile at her thought, but she didn't pull her mind away. After he made the empty bowl vanish, they lay back down and cuddled together to sleep the rest of the night.

~**~ 

The early morning sun brushed against her face, and she woke slowly, uncertain of where she was at first. The deep friendly voice reminded her of her location.

"Mornin' lass. Ye slept well, I gather?"

"Well, it's hard not to feel safe when you're staying with a dragon."

"Aye. And I'm guessin' it's not too often ye feel that safe?"

She smiled sadly. "Not in my business."

"It seems to me that yur friends are settlin' doon now. Doon't ye think it's time ye did the same?"

"No, Draco. Greece still needs me, and besides, I told you, I don't think Joxer and Gabrielle are anywhere _near_ ready to settle down. Oh, he is, maybe, but – "

"Ye doon't think they'd keep runnin' aboot with the likes of ye if she finally saw him fur what ye say he is, do ye?"

The thought had never entered her mind. "I don't know…"

~**~

She wasn't sure how she'd missed it before. He was tender, caring, always watching out for her. _You've known since we formed this bond how I feel about you._

_ _

_I just didn't think that much about it. We've had quite a bit going on, _she replied defensively. Even her defenses were weaker now, somehow.

_We still have a lot going on. Watch out, it gets narrow up here._ They were following Nebula up the steep rocky path that led to the rumored dragon nesting grounds. It was a long way down, and the pirate was scrambling up like someone was chasing her, so they had to move quickly and carefully to keep up. There was evidence of dragon activity, like burned patches of ground, and huge ruts perhaps made by claws.

Either dragons or a pubescent wizard.

_ _

_Thanks a lot. Never let a guy live something like that down._ He looked over his shoulder for a moment and grinned at her. She stuck her tongue out at him. _Very mature, _he responded.

_Look who's talking. _Although, when she thought about it, she realized just how much he really _had_ matured. Something subtle about him had been changing, ever since that day he had come back to their campsite with Xena and blown up those trees.

_Maybe it's because I finally had to take responsibility for my own actions. Maybe because for once, I can do something that might make a difference in the world._ He had gone from sounding almost lighthearted to so immeasurably sad in almost a heartbeat.

Confusion blunted her concentration, and her foot landed shakily on a loose stone. Her legs shot out from under her, and she had a quick mental image of her body, bruised and battered, at the foot of the rise, far below. She cried out, but before she hit the ground, strong arms caught her and set her back upright. "Joxer?"

"I'm sorry I distracted you." He was still holding her close, and she made no move to pull free.

Her voice was soft. "There are certain advantages to a relationship with a wizard, aren't there? Outside of how _distracting_ it can be."

He kept one arm around her waist, leaning his face in till his forehead touched hers. "You've always distracted me," he said, his voice a whisper as he moved closer.

"Are you two coming? I thought you didn't want me to save Xena by myself, Missy Best Friend."

Nebula's irritated call caused them to separate like arrows from bowstrings, guilt on both their faces. _What was I thinking? My best friend could be lying dead in these caves, and I'm going all gooey over Joxer? What kind of an idiot am I?_

_ _

_No worse than I am,_ he answered morosely. _First I almost get you killed, then I totally forget why we're even here. I'm such a moron._

_ _

_You aren't. _When she felt him preparing to answer, she cut him off. _We save Xena first, after that we can decide who's stupider, deal?_

_ _

_Deal._

_ _

_~**~ _

She couldn't believe how stupid she'd been. She never considered that her two best friends might pair up and settle down, leaving her alone again. It was only a matter of time, now, before Gabrielle realized that Joxer was her destiny, and off they would go. Not only that, but Xena herself had been _pushing_ for that very outcome, without thinking the whole thing through. Although she couldn't stop it. Mother W had said it was their destiny, and the bond had already formed. The marriage would be a mere formality. Surre, they weren't doing anything, alone together every night in the same bed. It didn't matter. The die was already cast.

"Yur worried aboot bein' left aloone, aren't ye, lassie?"

Xena looked up from the blade she had been honing mindlessly and into the huge sad eyes of her old friend. "A little," she admitted.

He smiled, and a bit of smoke shot out his nose. "Ever considered a dragon fur a sidekick? Ye'd never have to worry aboot getting' a fire started agin."

The Warrior Princess laughed in spite of herself. "That would have been even more handy in my Destroyer of Nations days. But thanks, I'll give it some thought."

~**~

"I thought we were almost there," Gabrielle complained, working hard on keeping what she'd begun to think of as the "Nebula whine" out of her voice.

"We _are",_ the pirate woman hissed, "and if you don't keep it down, we'll have every dragon in the area coming for us. Geez, I don't get you. Quiet as a mouse all the way up, both of you, and now you need to chatter, now that it's dangerous."

# It'd be quieter still if you didn't need to lecture me, bi…

_ _

_Gabs!_

_ _

_Sorry._

_ _

The sound of huge wings flapping drew all their gazes upward. "Oh, _shit,_" they heard the pirate queen mutter. They stood on a flat bowl like area, almost to the top of the rise. There was nowhere to hide as the dragon landed on the ground in front of them.

"I thought you knew better than to ever come back," a cool female voice announced. "You know I'll kill you this time. Your friend isn't here to protect you, and even he knows I'll keep my word." The dragon was at least fifteen feet long, with lovely iridescent pink scales. The look on her face was far from lovely, however.

"Madame Aeilia," the dark woman stammered, drawing shocked looks from both of the others. Nebula sounded frightened. "It was all a misunderstanding. I gave it all back. And that's not why I'm here this time, anyway."

The creature before them snorted, blowing a small gout of flame at Nebula's feet. To the pirate's credit, she never flinched. "You are a liar and a thief. I cannot begin to believe a thing you say. If I let you go, I'll return to my nest and find my eggs gone again. I'm not foolish enough to let you leave here alive this time."

_I have a bad feeling about this… _Joxer reached out for Gabrielle, and pulled her close as they watched. 

~**~

Xena's melancholy contemplation was shaken by a sudden rush of flame from Draco's snout.

"I'm havin' a bad feelin' aboot something, lass."

Xena looked in his eyes, aware that dragons had a tie to one another that was akin to that between Joxer and Gabrielle. "Is one of your kind in trouble?" The creatures didn't share thoughts, but had some sort of emotional connection that enhanced their ability to survive. When one felt something strongly, other dragons could sense it and go to their aid, if needed.

"No, I'm fearin' it's one of my kind _causin'_ trooble. I'll be back." He leapt from the mouth of the cave into the air, and Xena involuntarily gasped at the majestic sight of the huge creature winging over the peaks. Then she smiled. Draco would make wonderful companion – his dedication to humanity's greater good was equal to her own. He had set himself up as a defender of the people, especially from the more violent of his own species. The dragon and the Warrior Princess had become friends when he had defended an innocent village against _her_ wrath many years ago. Her anger at him had quickly faded as they became acquainted and his infectious optimism and unflagging good humor had won her over. She wondered what poor innocent he was defending this time. An unbidden thought that she might _know_ the innocents involved caused her stomach to knot.

~**~

# Do you think she even cares that we're just innocent bystanders?

_ _

Joxer and Gabrielle cowered together, as far away from the pirate queen as they could get, but they knew that one burst of flame from the dragon could fill the entire hollow where they stood. _As far as she's concerned, we're with Nebula, so we're due to become crispy critters right alongside her. I think I can throw up a fire shield spell, but I'm not sure I can cover both Nebula and the two of us at the same time. _His self-confidence, while much improved, seemed to be flagging in this time of crisis.

_ _

_It may be too late to worry about that. _Gabrielle pointed, and the pair watched as the dragon's eyes glowed almost red, and the first tongues of flame issued from her snout. Then a large shadow fell over them, and Nebula vanished, swept away by what appeared to be a large claw. Then she felt Joxer grasp her convulsively, and moments later they too were lifted into the air by a matching appendage.

"Aeilia," an accented voice thundered from around them, "Ye'll be doin' no harm to these or any other humans as long as I'm breathin'. Ye know the rules. 'Live and let live.' Unless ye want the humans huntin' ye doown and killin' ye like they did Garribaldi, ye'll back ooff."

"Give her to me, Draco. It's that pirate woman again. I told you what I'd do to her if she came back."

"If'n Nebula's come back, she's got good reason. She knoows better than ta goo after yur eggs agin, I asurre ye."

A muffled voice called out, "Absolutely!"

"Soo, ye'll be lettin' them goo with me, won't ye, Aeilia, lassie?"

The hissing sound of shooting flames and then the flapping of great wings, growing fainter as they went on, were the only answer.

The big voice guffawed. "She's really not fond of ye, Nebula. Ye'd better have a really good reason for comin' back here. Or ye'll be owin' me even moore'n last time."

~**~

Xena heard her old friend approaching before he arrived. Peering out the entrance to the cave, she could tell he was holding something in both feet. She backed away to allow him to land, and he gently set down first a couple, then a woman, before touching down himself.

"Xena!" Gabrielle cried, noticing her friend. Pulling free from Joxer, who followed behind her, she ran to the Warrior Princess and threw her arms around her neck. As the wizard shuffled up, Xena pulled him into the hug, and he sprouted a wide grin.

"So these here are the friends ye've been worryin' aboot. Why'd ye let them hang aroond with a trooble-maker like that one?"

Nebula looked a bit subdued. "Xena. I should have known you'd be friends with this big bugger, too. I just didn't recognize him when he picked you up, so we thought you were in trouble."

The warrior woman released her two companions. "You mean you guys were coming to _save_ me? From Draco? Oh, gods." She began to chuckle, then her laughter became uncontrollable. Finally she sat down, and with effort regained her composure. "That is so rich. You three against the dragons. For me. This is too good."

Joxer could see the steam ready to come from his ladylove's ears. "You don't think we could, huh? You think it's _funny_ that we care enough to risk out lives to save yours? Or do you think I'm just a 'helpless sidekick' like she does? I-I-I..." The bard was starting to sputter, and the wizard pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair and attempting to calm her._ First Nebula and now Xena – laughing at me. They really do think I'm a burden! You're the only one who appreciates me,_ she wept against him. _The only one who loves me as I am._

_ _

He soothed her body and her mind. _I do, I love you just the way you are. It's okay. Xena does too, really. I love you. I love you._ He wasn't even aware of what he was chanting in her mind as he held her, but she was, and she finally knew the right answer.

_I love you, too. _He stopped stroking her hair and looked at her in wonder.

"You do?"

Xena was quiet. The very thing she had feared was happening right in front of her eyes, and she had even pushed them into it. She wasn't laughing any more. Only when the pirate queen touched her shoulder was she aware that the other woman had approached.

"Look, if Blondie and Hot Stuff over there wanna play Happy Ever After, I could always use somebody like you on my ship. We'd have a lot of fun."

"Listen, lassie. I've already asked Xxxena to travel with me, so bugger oooff, now."

Gabrielle pulled her gaze from Joxer's and stepped towards her friend. "What's going on, Xena? It sounds like you're looking for a new traveling companion. Am I really _that_ useless?"

"Gods, no, Gabrielle. But now that you and Joxer are…" Xena waved her hands helplessly, at a loss for words, and the bard nodded, "You won't want to travel around with _me_ anymore."

Joxer's voice was strong. "Even if she doesn't want to, I still do. And if we're going to be together," _We are going to be together aren't we? That is what "I love you, too" meant, right?_ The bard smiled and nodded, and the wizard went on, "she'll just have to travel with me, and I want to travel with you." He moved forward, and putting one arm around his beloved, stretched his other hand out toward the Warrior Princess. "If you'll have me, uh, us," he finished, somewhat less certainly.

She took his wrist in the traditional handclasp. "It's about damn time she figured it out."

The bard sputtered again, until the warrior woman reached over and mussed her hair. "You do sometimes miss the obvious, don't you?" The tiny pang of being the fifth wheel on the cart arose, and the Warrior Princess stuffed it firmly back down, to be dealt with at some other time.

Nebula looked disgusted. "No one's ever satisfied with good old-fashioned _lust_ anymore. Have to go messing in that idiotic love stuff. Hey, Draco, you ever considered taking up the life of a pirate?"

"Noo, lassie, I'm thinkin' I'd best stay right here for a wee bit loonger, and keep the oother dragon's oout of troouble."

~**~ 

# Have you given any thought to where you'd like to get married?

_ _

Joxer, I just realized I was in love with you today. Could you give me a while to adjust to that idea first?

He kissed her nose. As long as you need. I figure it'll take a day or two to get back to the mainland, then a week or so to Poteidaia, so that we'll be there and ready. That should be plenty of time…

She swatted him on the shoulder, then sighed. I don't stand a chance here, do I?

He grinned. Nope.

~**~


End file.
